someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
