Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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