If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
