i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
