taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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