Are we in a gay sports bar?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
