I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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