I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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