I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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