we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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