And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
