He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
