I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
