1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize