i just google imaged poop.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
