I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
