I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
