I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
