three words: i give head
three words: not that well
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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