I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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