Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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