So drunk its hurt
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
