Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
