she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
