Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
