peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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