I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
