quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He kissed a someone with a penis
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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