So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
