Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
