ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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