SEEEEXXX PLEASE
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
