I hope mine doesn't look like that
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
