White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
