I puked a lego.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I deserve this hangover.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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