I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
