don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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