Don't you send me to vm
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
