I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
