I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
