He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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