so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
