Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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