Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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