it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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