do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
