he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
love makes seman taste better
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
