On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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