i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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