Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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