So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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