Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
