happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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