Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
