capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
