i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
