4 words: hood of his car
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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