I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My breasts were aching with rage.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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