apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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