i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
