are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
