I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
